Generating Mental Wellbeing

1. Can we generate mental wellbeing? Yes. Why not…

2. Mental wellbeing can be generated through a conscious act of empowering self-efficacy and therefore reducing dependency and creating less burden to the society.

3. It can be promoted by various steps including:
-balance diet
-Adequate rest and sleep
-Relaxation and avoidance of excessive stress
-Avoid taking illicit substances, caffeine, and alcohol

4. Imam al-Ghazali had mentioned in his book regarding 10 features that come under the commendable trait (sifat-sifat mahmudah). In contrast to the commendable trait, he had also suggested another 10 features of the reprehensible trait (sifat-sifat mazmumah).

5. The commendable trait includes repent, scare (to Allah), ascetic, patience, thankful, sincere, tawakkal (trust), mahabbah (love), redza and remembrance of death. On the other hand, the reprehensible trait includes binge-eating, talk a lot, angry, jealousy, stingy, majestic feeling, love the world and its content, pride, and show-off.

6. Prayers indeed have a lot of stress-reducing elements. Conscientious prayer can be achieved by making sure that you are fully ready for the ibadah at the time of wudhu’, understanding the meaning of Arabic prayers uttered, empty the mind from worldly affairs, thinking as if you are praying for the last time in your life, taking care of the food, the cloth, and the home and making sure they are derived from solely halal sources, scare of God and finally by joining the congregate prayers.

7. The protective factors for healthy mental well-being include sound physical health, stable and productive career, sound financial health, supportive family, and friends.

8. Those are the gests of my talk delivered at the World Mental Health Day, 2011 at the Nuclear Medicine Auditorium, HUSM on October 24th, 2011.

Hedonic Adaptation

1. Hedonic Adaptation is a tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.

2. Knowing that happiness can temporarily depart from one’s given hedonic set point, determining when dips are occurring can be extremely helpful in treating conditions such as depression.

3. When a dip occurs, psychologists work with patients to recover from the depressive spell and return to their hedonic set point more quickly. In doing this, psychologists are helping to equip patients with the tools to combat any potential depressive spells that may arise in the future.

4. Since approximately 40% of our level of subjective happiness is determined by intentional activities, one’s proactive and deliberative action can drastically improve his or her overall happiness.

5. Hedonic adaptation is an advantage in difficult situations but can be a disadvantage when it means that we cease to appreciate pleasant circumstances.

6. One way to combat hedonic adaptation is to cut back on a luxurious enjoyment. Another way is to make the effort to savor the luxurious enjoyment.

7. If you get a nice coffee or cappuccino twice a week instead of every morning, it will feel like a real treat. Don’t just grab your cappuccino and run. Anticipate how good it will taste, tell other people how much you enjoy it, mindfully enter into the experience of drinking it, instead of gulping it down without a thought.

IKEA effect

1. My wife likes IKEA stuff. Every time we walk into IKEA, I have to check her priority. I like ultramodern Swedish furniture compare to Balinese style furniture. However, buying Swedish furniture means I have to assemble parts myself. I don’t like assembling parts. Either I outsource to my kids or buying en bloc.

2. However, psychologists have shown that investing in some labor or putting effort on either getting the object, assembling it or modifying it can result in an increase in attachment value to it.

3. I have a friend who loves to modify his car, Proton Satria. He is willing to buy another car for his wife with a condition that his wife will not share his personalize modified car.

4. I suppose he might have said to himself: Having spent so much money on this car, I really love it and will never give it to anyone even my wife to drive it. I am attached to it.

5. That attachment after so much effort is what psychologist called IKEA effect. Orr, look when I put down my signature: mohdjamil@photogallery into my photo, it is an effort, right? That makes me attach to my photo and love it so much…that too is an IKEA effect…haha..

Peer Support Good For Health

Getting along with your colleagues may not only be good for your work satisfaction and productivity, it could be good for your health, too.

That’s according to a new study, published in the May issue of Health Psychology, that looked at the medical history of more than 800 people working in finance, insurance, public services, health care, and manufacturing companies between 1988 and 2008.

The team of researchers, led by Arie Shirom at Tel Aviv University in Israel, looked at peer social support in terms of the participants’ perception of how supportive and friendly their colleagues were to them. The researchers found that a high level of peer social support was associated with a lower risk of mortality. When also looking at the participants’ age, they found peer social support to have a protective effect only for people aged between 38 and 43. Interestingly, support from supervisors was not associated with mortality rate.

The researchers also looked at the effect of the participants’ decision power in their jobs. While high decision power was associated with reduced mortality in men, the researchers found that the opposite was true in women. That it is more typical for men than women to hold high-power positions at the types of companies studied may at least partly explain the finding, Shirom said in a press release.

“Peer social support, which could represent how well a participant is socially integrated in his or her employment context, is a potent predictor of the risk of all causes of mortality,” the researchers wrote in the paper. (By Elisabeth Pain)

Would You Marry the Same Person?

It is an interesting question if I were to ask my client to see if they have made a correct choice in life.

People with stable marriages would often answer ‘yes’ simply because all they know in their life, are their wives. Good or bad, is taken as part of married life. Life is seen as mutual sharing of love and respect.

On the other hand, those with restless heart, would often think of the ‘better’ one to suite his/her expectation. Some are willing to untie the knot, if given a chance. Worst still, the new parameter is very much material.

I believe the basic assumption here is whether a. have you made a correct choice and b. are you satisfied with the choice you made. It is about your personality and your spouse’s personality.

Matching is not almost always the keyword. Compliment to each other, mutual respect and accommodative are practical elements than just matching in term of hobby during leisure time. Those are dynamic elements and stand the standard test in life.

I rest my case.

Project Management Part II

13. Measure against the baseline
– Discuss what information is sessential
– Identify where the information is generated
– Decide how to capture the information

14. Be objective about threats
– identify the greatest risk
– quantify and analyze the risks
– Define a contigency plan

15. Actively manage communication channels
– consider the purpose
– be efficient
– follow up

16. Optimize project excellence
– be specific about criteria
– Use data to make decision
– Reinforce process thinking

17. Consider project cost issue
– practicality and feasibility
– long term ownership
– make at ease to do the new thing

18. Manage interfaces
– make meeting a priority
– encourage interactions as needed
– Set team communication guidelines

19 Practice self management
– become more introspective
– learn to deal with feedback
– find a mentor

20. Recognize multiple success metrics
– clarify all expectations
– understand the true need
– document goals and achievements

21. Use documentation wisely
– think like a functional manager
– distinguish short term needs from long term needs
– follow company standards

22. Reward excellent team behaviors
– discourage individual heroics
– reward the team as a unit
– Involve the team

23. Miximize learning from closure
– complete the project work
– Ease team members transitions
– Coordinate customer relationships

24. Transfer your lessons learned
– Document problems and their impact
– Explore root causes
– capture suggested improvements

(Lesson I learnt from:-
“Project Management: 24 Lessons to Help You Master Any Project”.
By: Gary R. Heerkens)

Generation Alpha?

Let me share the list of generation according to sociologist.

Builders: 1920-45
This generation is strong-willed, hard working, strong-ethically, conservative, follow order and instruction from authority.

Baby Boomers: 1946-1964
The time of prosperity, financially well. vocal on issues pertaining to their right, human right and liberal in their thinking.(Just turn around the four and six)

Generation X: 1965-79

Opposite, cynic, question the authority.

Generation Y: 1980-94

Rebellious, cynic, question authority.

Generation Z: 1995-2009

new generation in the era of internet, FB, Twitter. Tech-savvy, confident but politically oppositional.

Generation Alpha: 2010-2020

highly educated, load of info  -> overload, tech-savy, materialistic.

Politicians, teachers & parents, pls take note…..


{What’s another word for perseverance. It is persistence. How terribly necessary to be persistence in everyday life. As this poem says…}

Nothing in the world
can take the place of persistence
Talent will not;
nothing is more common than
unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb,
Education will not;
the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination
alone are omnipotent.
The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved
and always will solve
the problems of the human race.

(Calvin Coolidge)

Learning To Let Go

Many parents have difficulty letting their children move out of the house. They are worried that the kid wont be able to handle themselves.

Another hardest things for man or woman, is letting go of a relationship.
Most person would then develop a general assumption like: “all men are jerks” or “all women are bitches.”

The problem when someone hang on to baggage from past relationships, he will end up projecting the pain on to others and, eventually, his new partners.

Emotional baggage is usually rooted in the relationships with others. hence, you have to lighten your load and heal your pain before you can love again.

Some tips:

· Take responsibility for the role you played in your relationship.

· Become mindful of your reactions to people and situations. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.

· Accept yourself and your partner the way you are.

· Learn to forgive yourself for all the damage that your anger and pain may have caused, and forgive others for being human and acting out their own anger and pain.

· Be grateful that you’re out of a bad relationship, so you can be with someone better suited to your needs. Be grateful for all the lessons you’ve learned from your partner.

· Learn to look at all people as human beings dealing with their own pain. Spend some time seeing the world through their eyes and you’ll become less judgmental.

· Learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.

· Stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you should be giving yourself.

· An optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that everything happens for the best. Have faith that the best is yet to come.