My daughter was married to a gentleman of her choice, and I’m happy for her. It wasn’t easy for her to make her decision, but eventually she made her own decision. I believe that as human beings, we should be given the opportunity to make our own decision, especially with regard to our life and our future destiny.
We planned to make it a day on 2.1.21 as the figures are impressive, but for some unforeseen reasons it has to be postponed. In addition, the Covid-19 pandemic continues to be widespread, with four digits of new cases daily. As a doctor, I would be ashamed if my home were to create a new cluster due to an unwanted social encounter.
We decided to cancel it and hold a small akad nikah ceremony in the nearby mosque, in the presence of Tok Imam, two witnesses and families on both sides. The akad nikah begins at 10 a.m. and my son-in-law pronounces a clear akad in front of the imam in a single breath.
The rukun nikah has been established to the fullest, but the cultural part has not been established. This includes the reception as well as introduction to family members.
As a parent, I was afraid to observe that she was leaving. It wasn’t easy to let her go since she was little, she’s always been with us. Watching her grow up was the best gift of my life. I don’t know about her mother because she’s a little reserved when it comes to expressing her own feelings.
The entire journey makes me think about human development in the entire lifespan. The Western idea of the stages of life as proclaimed by Erik Erikson is fine to me. But it lacks the element of faith, moral values, and ethics.
Sigmund Freud assumptions on psychosexual influences that design certain ways to behave are totally unacceptable and not pleasing to Eastern cultures. The libidinal impulses such as the oedepal complexes are absurd and refuse to be recognized by today’s development scientists.
In the end, my mind ceases to wonder at some point: the history of human development is repeated, from time to time.
Born in Kedah. Studied at Alam Shah, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia and King's College, University of London. Previously, acted as Head, Dept of Psychiatry, School of Medical Sciences, Universiti Sains Malaysia. Currently, works as Professor of Psychiatry at Sultan Abdul Halim Mu'adzam Shah International Islamic University, Kedah. Married and blessed with 4 grown-up children.
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