1. Consequences of adoption are difficult to manage, really. Kids are sensitive creatures. To disclose that they are adopted; is tough. It is a matter of when and how.
2. Once they know, to contain the emotional reactions is really a challenging task.
3. Next, is for the adoptive parent to maintain the kid inquisition about who is his/her biological parent and to explore more about the whereabouts. Wrong approaches will invite rebellious actions and reactions.
4. Adoptive parents have difficulty to impose strict disciplines because they are scared the kids may run away from home. The kids then give unrealistic demands which are difficult to realize. They may act the opposite to normal, well-accepted behaviors. In my case, I call it, oppositional defiant behaviors.
5. The most important step for me is to establish depression. Treatment is necessary. Cognitive-behaviour is a far better approach that drugs because the kid’s mind is flexible and highly absorbable to suggestions than to chemical substances. In scientific term, the flexibility is known as neuroplasticity.
6. Parents have to be very patient. They have to make sure that their families are intact whatever happened. Consultative decision-making is a must. No unilateral decision making is allowed. Stick to the family role. Avoid role reversal, just in order to satisfy the demand of a particular stakeholder. Revert every one attention back to the family fundamentals of respect, care, and compassion.
Wish them all the best.