Jealousy

A doctor and his wife were sitting in deck chairs on the beach when a beautiful young girl in a brief bikini jogged towards them. As she came to the doctor she waved at him and said, in a husily sexy voice: ‘Hi, there” before continuing on her way.

“Who was that?” demanded the  doctor’s wife.

“Oh, just someone I met professionally.’ replied the doctor.

“Oh, yes!’ snorted the wife.

‘Whose profession? Yours or hers?’

…………………………..

Boot on the head

A man walked into the doctor’s surgery and said:’Can you hekled me? I’ve suddenly got a funny feeling in my head-it’s all hot and I can’t see. I also walk with a limp as one leg seems shorter than the other’.

The doctor looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and then said: ‘It might help if you took your left boot off your head and put it back on your foot.’

………………………….

Long Life

Patient: “Doctor, do you think I will live until I’m a hundred?’.

Doctor: ‘Do you smoke or drink?’

Patient: ‘ No, doctor. Never’

Doctor: ‘Do you drive fast cars, gamble or play around with women?’

Patient: ‘ Certainly not!’

Doctor; ‘Then what do you want to live until a hundred for?’

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