Learning To Let Go

Many parents have difficulty letting their children move out of the house. They are worried that the kid wont be able to handle themselves.

Another hardest things for man or woman, is letting go of a relationship.
Most person would then develop a general assumption like: “all men are jerks” or “all women are bitches.”

The problem when someone hang on to baggage from past relationships, he will end up projecting the pain on to others and, eventually, his new partners.

Emotional baggage is usually rooted in the relationships with others. hence, you have to lighten your load and heal your pain before you can love again.

Some tips:

· Take responsibility for the role you played in your relationship.

· Become mindful of your reactions to people and situations. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.

· Accept yourself and your partner the way you are.

· Learn to forgive yourself for all the damage that your anger and pain may have caused, and forgive others for being human and acting out their own anger and pain.

· Be grateful that you’re out of a bad relationship, so you can be with someone better suited to your needs. Be grateful for all the lessons you’ve learned from your partner.

· Learn to look at all people as human beings dealing with their own pain. Spend some time seeing the world through their eyes and you’ll become less judgmental.

· Learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.

· Stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you should be giving yourself.

· An optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that everything happens for the best. Have faith that the best is yet to come.

Money Laundering

Heard about it?

Remember a college student was brought to court for alleged involvement in quick rich scheme.

It’s a crime for bankers or financial intermediaries to fail to report suspicious financial activity.

In 1989, a task force was established by the world’s seven riches nation called Financial Action Task Force (FATF) to come out with the list of country which don’t do much to stop dirty money.

The 15 countries deemed to be non-cooperative are:
1. Bahamas
2. Cayman Island
3. Cook Islands
4. Dominica
5. Israel
6. Lebanon
7. Liechtenstein
8. Marshall Island
9. Nauru
10. Niue
11. Panama
12. Philippines
13. Russia
14. St Kitts and Nevis
15. St Vincent and the Grenadines

No wonder many of them, I’ve never heard of…

The Novelty of Please and Thank You

Ii is very important, indeed to say…please and thank you. I have no choice but to agree that Malaysians by enlarged, don’t place much emphasis on attitude and behavior pertaining to respect to others.

That explains why plannings and meetings were wreaking havoc, most of the time. People at all levels feel they are being told or pressured to perform, just simply because the request seems to be rude and uncivilized.

Unfortunately, this mischievous behavior occurs at the level of the experts as well as those in power. The more powerful they are, the more harder for them to utter, please and thank you,

I think we need a sense of direction here…thank you for reminded me to say those words…


I still remember those days when I worked full hours in the ward assisting mothers to deliver their babies and those days are the best occasions that happened in my life.

To assist mum-to-be, let us examine the procedure called episiotomy; which is a little incision in the tissue below the birth canal to facilitate delivery.

One common justification is to avoid tear in the perineum which is the area just below the opening of the birth canal. In labor, especially for the new mother, the doctor will decide to perform episiotomy. The young, anxious doctor will not wait till full stretch happen and that is painful though with the injection of local analgesia.

Some people believe let it take a little while and let holding off pushing to give perineum a chance to adjust. By doing so, perhaps episiotomy can be avoided. Another way is to practice perineal massage during the final six weeks of pregnancy to reduce the risk of tear to a substantial degree.

Only when critical time comes such as baby heartbeat drop for an extended period, forceps is to be performed or infant’s shoulder too big to come out then only episiotomy need always to be performed.

Word of caution, I am not an obstetrician and gynecologist so don’t take all my words as the final advice. Ask your the doctor.

Can They Bridge the Divide?

When flood hits Northern states in the early November, this year; people, state and government agencies were not ready. They are practically caught red-handed!

I was making jokes with a friend in the FB that Changloon would soon be another Rantau Panjang and to our disbelieved in the next few hours, Changloon town was flooded, electricity was out and the rests were history.

As soon as the flood subsided, there were exchange of arguments between state and federal governments over delayed response in helping victims and media over-politicking on this issue. At the end of the day, rakyat will be the judge.

The question is, can both parties bridge the divide over political differences and come, all out, to help rakyat. After all, politic is about serving rakyat.

The taxi driver I met was accusing the state government and some bloggers are fed-up with bias reporting by the prominent media. Let us all agree, that nobody is at fault since nobody is ready.

I hate the blame game. As a practical person, I appreciate problem solving skills at it best!

Book Club

I had some experience initiating a book club which was promising in the beginning but it turned out to be a failed endeavor. Reason being, not many people were interested spending time doing book resection.  

Some people read only fiction, some read on motivation and the rest tackle anything. Choosing titles was then a problem. If the chairman like the title like war, then will the rest like war title too?

It is also about where to meet. Meeting in the department would lead to the problem of jealousy to those who haven’t join the group. Gathering at home would be fine but you must be truly committed as I would like to have more time on  reading and writing in a peaceful place called home.

You must be careful, the meeting may turn into cooking or academic study group discussion.

Perhaps, the best is to form a group in the FB. Decision on titles, time and place can be made online. Again, commitment from members is doubtful.

Finally, we are back to the square one…….

Children and Inflation

The typical scenario…

My eldest, a 19-year old boy lies on the bed, lap top on his chest, scrolls through his FB, while tv set is on, headset connects to MP3, text massages keep coming from no where and textbook on his side. My 11-year old girl, makes call to her friend, reading text for half an-hour while discussing homework thro’ the mobile. They goes out of the room, the light and air-condition are on and the list goes on and on.

To most children, the thought on inflation hasn’t necessarily put an end to lavish spending or stopped them from enjoying the good life. As parents, we are outraged with their attitude.  It appears as if they don’t try to comprehend the difficult times faced by parents and of course, it is unthinkable.

Under normal circumstances, most parents want to provide good quality of  life to their children. But in the era of inflation, parents can’t be held liable for some drops in quality of enjoyment to good life. Children have to understand this. A plate of used to be RM 1 fried koey teaw in the night market near my place is now RM 3.50 (If you don’t believe me, check it out) ; that would be a 350% increase as it has inflated by as much as 350% in nearly 4-5 years. This is the ugly fact of inflation.

The private is very quick to adjust on the price hike but the government sector is very slow…Now it is the right time for our children to react…..

The New Old Tips On Computer

I was telling my kid not to play too long with computer.

Either it can affect his eyes or it could be his eyes that need to be checked. What is important is the glare from computer may be too bright that may cause headache and giddiness. So I said, try to dim the light or better still get a desk lamp from my room. [Note: Some people work underneath a direct light in front of computer. In that case, they need to move their computer slightly away from direct light.]

I found that glare from a window can also cause eyestrain if it is reflected on my screen. Hence, I had to position my screen so the side of monitor is half parallel to the window. I had to use curtain to control brightness from outsides. Like it or not, this side of the corner is my favorite place to write.

Last few days, I’d just bought a new monitor. To read from that monitor I had to bend down my neck to some 10-20 degrees. As I was told, that is not good for my health. I may suffer cervical spondylosis if I continue to maintain these positions for years. The ideal is to maintain eyeline 5 cm to 8 cm below the top of the monitor. The screen should be  about an arm’s length away.

I prefer to read from light background with dark text although my blogs are basically made up of  the opposite color textures. Not to forget, there is a need to blink the eyes more often in order to lubricate them always.

Lastly, I told my kid to log off, go out and play……..