Jokes On Marriage

The Wife is too Jealous

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, “Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman!”

The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, “She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!”

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Finding Perfect Men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

“The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!”

An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a TV!”

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Marriage Pessimism

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

4. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

7. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

8. There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late!”

Smile!